 Dear Mark,
I wish I had read a past column you
wrote called Split Decision before I made a recent trip with my family
to Las Vegas. I was appalled at the amount of handbills advertising sex
being pushed down my throat on the Strip right in front of the MGM
Grand. Who in their right mind would bring a family to Las Vegas?
Clifford M.
As a result of continual complaints from tourists like you,
Clifford, the Clark County Commission recently approved a ban on the
passing out of handbills in Las Vegas. The ban is targeted primarily at
the aggressive peddlers (smutters) on the Las Vegas Strip who
force-feed fliers, most of which contain sexually explicit ads for call
girl services, on unwilling tourists as they stroll by. The ban also
affects businesses that hand out ads in front of their stores along the
strip.
Those needing their carnal obsessions attended to in Sin City
will still find arousal circulars at newspaper stands-which are exempt,
as are non-commercial enterprises.
By the way, Clifford, since when is Las Vegas for those in their right mind?
Dear Mark,
My
boyfriend and I are planning an upcoming gambling trip to Las Vegas. I
want to prove to my fiancee that I know a little more about chance than
he thinks. Is there any even money bet in Nevada? Sandra R.
Oh
yeah, Sandra. Drive over to one of the 34 wedding chapels in Vegas and
get married. Marriage today is statistically a fifty/fifty proposition
that you'll end up divorced. And if you divorce rich-jackpot. There's
your even money bet.
Dear Mark,
Before
going to the casino I run practice hands on the kitchen table. The
problem with this method is that play in a casino on both video poker
machines and blackjack is much faster. Any suggestions? Tammy D.
The
best way to acquire gaming skills without the expense of a live game is
with a computer. In many ways a computer can be far superior to a human
instructor for both training and drilling. The benefit of computer
training is the ability to test card counting strategies along with
money-management progressive win formulas at no financial risk, even
with simulated high speed play. Whether at high speeds or a live game
pace, computers accumulate data for later review. This will enable you
to spot costly trends that you might be making on a video poker machine
or blackjack table. Information like this would take you years to
accumulate dealing hand after hand on your kitchen table. And again,
the key here is that any knowledge obtained without a casino outlay
will make you more money down the road.
Many of the
better gaming software programs are either free or shareware, making it
very inexpensive, easy to use, and yes, definitely fun. These software
programs can be downloaded from any of the major online services on the
internet.
If you don't have a computer, you can still create a Las
Vegas experience with a handheld video game. I've seen these small
hand-held computer games at Wal Mart's as inexpensively as $5. I prefer
the games made by a company called Radica. The screen is easy to read
and the batteries last, well, I've never changed them yet. Along with a
basic strategy card, you'll sharpen your playing skills and be an
expert in no time.
Dear Mark,
Per your
advice, my sister and I on our monthly trips to Las Vegas always
discuss the games we will be playing and the correct bets to make on
those games. When my sister hits the front door though, she gambles on
a whim and becomes her own worst enemy. Is my sister different from
most who gamble? Sally O.
Take counsel, Sally, most
gamblers devise a cleaver scheme to keep the casinos at bay, but like
Penelope, wife of Odysseus, they spend all day weaving a tapestry of
words and all night unraveling it.
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